Breathe in. Breathe out.

Aries Full Moon — Field Notes

“Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Let go.”
Maya Jordan

I used the entire sound transmission, about 29 minutes, for intentional breathwork. I had planned to spend the first segment on fire breathing, then transition into intuitive improvisational dance and somatic movement. But I stayed with the breathwork throughout.

I began with a combination of fire breathing techniques that Kira Buckley taught me. It felt fitting for a full moon, which I associate with release. Fire felt like a way to bring something up and allow it to move.

During the first segment, I felt a surge of energy and then a great deal of heat rising along my spine, especially toward my head—my Ori, in the language I use for it, or my crown. I had already been feeling pressure on the left side of my skull. During the practice, that pressure seemed to shift toward the upper left side of my head.

Then an overwhelming amount of grief came up, and I began to cry. I felt the need to return to my body and to appreciate and value Earth more deeply. I thought about our connection to Earth and its feminine energy. I also felt grief about how, as people become more disconnected from their bodies and the living world, we may keep making replicas of organic things—food, materials, even human flesh—while damaging the relationships that sustain the originals.

I thought about cellular agriculture and digital intelligence, often called artificial intelligence. I’m curious about these technologies, but in that moment I felt how essential it is for them to develop in harmony with the intelligence of our bodies and Earth. The distance between those things brought up so much grief.

Toward the end of the first song, the music helped bring me back down. I had felt hot, energized, and ungrounded; as the song came to a close, I could feel my system begin to settle.

I continued the fire breathing during the second song. As the tears eased, I reminded myself that I am practicing what I was grieving the loss of: making sound transmissions, breathing, moving, honoring my body as matter, and honoring Earth. That recognition helped me move through the grief.

As I kept breathing, I felt less heat and more regulation. Then my body temperature seemed to drop suddenly. I became extremely cold and had to cover up.

While I continued, I realized how nuanced life is—how nuanced it is simply to be in a body. My experience does not always have to center on human interaction or relationships. I often orient myself around other people instead of settling into my own experience. During this practice, I was able to be fully in my body.

I stayed bundled up to finish. For the last part, I used only the gentler, more settling segment of the fire breathing practice. That was my experience.